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GET YOUR MUD BOOTS ON FOR THE SKY VALLEY FARM FESTIVAL
October 01, 2015
Chronicle News & Expert Opinion
A small buckaroo checks out baby cow at Groenevelds Dairy Farm. Photo by Debbie Copple. CLICK TO ENLARGE
MAP shows where the Sky Valley Farm Festival starts. CLICK TO ENLARGE
(SULTAN, WA.) -- It's wild, it's wacky and more fun that eatin' pink taffy. We speak of course of the annual and free (some activities have a fee) Sky Valley Farm Festival.
It's the seventh annual festival of farm funkiness in the mighty valley (where all the women are strong and pump iron and all the men are movie star pretty) and takes place Saturday October 3rd from 10am to 5 pm on three upper valley farms; the Rivers End Cattle Ranch, Groenevelds Dairy Farm and Stockings Garden and Nursery, all between Monroe and Sultan but more toward Sultan.
Back in the day when farms were farms, men were real men and sheep were...well, sheep... society didn't need farm festivals.
That's because every day on the farm was a veritable festival of fun and frivolity consisting of 15-hour work days seven days a week, crop prices that sometimes dropped through the floor, livestock getting eaten by predators or stolen, bankers that didn't understand or care about your problems, weather that could sink the farm and you with it and no unemployment pay if things went south.
Single farmers, hot babes and surly cows
And if you were a single farmer, good luck trying to find a hot babe in the city that wanted to get hitched and sign on for that kind of life. You'd have better chances of gettin' Ted Cruz to vote for a Democrat or Mitch McConnell to come out of the closet.
Then there was the odd occupational hazard such as waking up from a two week coma after being kicked in the head by a surly cow and then having to learn how to walk all over again and talk without drooling on your shirt. And do your farm chores at the same time.
This is one reason why farmers as a whole have a far greater chance of being hooked on industrial strength anti-depressants than say, exotic dancers or NASCAR drivers do.
It is for these and other reasons that the business of agriculture has never produced any world class comedians. This is a fact. You can Google it.
It's hard to be funny in the midst of constant agony, worry, never ending work and the always present threat of ruin by weather, pestilence, acts of God and/or the bank and/or all of the above.
But we digress.
The point is Skippy, the Sky Valley Farm Festival is coming and you need to be there with the kids to touch base with the living planet, the odd goat or chicken and the chance to get real with some dirt between those lilly white city soft toes.
The festival celebrates the area’s hardworking farming community and rich agricultural history, as noted above.
You'll tour several working farms, get to hang out in and around barns, take hay rides, check out all the farm animals (pigs, cows, chickens and such), take a wagon ride to the river, check out a corn maze (no stealin' the corn please) see cooking demonstrations (one year we had grilled buzzard which was mighty tasty) learn a bit about what being a farmer is all about, get the kids a horsey ride and so on and so forth.
You park your rig starting at 10:00 am at the Groenvelds Dairy Farm (a third generation dairy farm located at 29524 Fern Bluff Road) and then tractor pulled wagons (we told you this was gonna be fun, yes?) will take you from farm to farm. Now how cool is that?
This fun FREE family event is made possible by the wonderful folks at the Sky Valley Chamber of Commerce (the saltiest salts of the earth and near heroic figures against the constant threat of developers who wanna buy up all the farmland, pave it over with asphalt and put up pricey condos for overpaid code-writing Microsoftees, who may or may not be mostly commie pinko socialist bed wetter liberals) in partnership with local farms and sponsored by Snohomish County Dairy Women.
So there you go. Check the video below.
There may be a test on this stuff later.