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CAFFEINE HOW I LOVED YOU
By Kim Johnson
March 08, 2010
 Kim Johnson. CLICK TO ENLARGE
By Kim Johnson
(SKY VALLEY) -- Have you ever had to give up something you love? I mean something really important to you. Something that you've had for a long time. Something that holds a special place in your heart.
I found myself in just that situation this week. Every 20 years or so, I go in to have my teeth cleaned, you know, whether they need it or not. So I settled down into the dental chair and prepared myself for what I knew would be nothing less than interesting.
We were about five minutes into the cleaning, scrapping, and general man-handling when the dental hygienist gave me that look. You know the one. The look that says, “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
The look that tells you the hygienist can tell exactly how long it has been since you've been to the dentist. As though your teeth have rings in them like a tree trunk that tell the story of their sad, little, food-chewing lives.
So the hygienist stops what she is doing and says, “You're a soda drinker.” It's a statement not a question and I know I've been found out.
I say something like, “Better soda than tequila.” Which comes out as a totally unrecognizable gurgle of gibberish since she has both hands crammed into my mouth detoxing my poor, picked on teeth.
I spend the next thirty minutes of the cleaning wondering if she is giving me that dirty look based solely on the soda drinking or if perhaps I have something disturbing in my nose.
Eventually the dentist comes in, looks over my x-rays and after a moment of quiet deliberation, he suggests that I consider cutting back on the amount of soda I consume.
I'm entirely sure my heart broke right there in the dentist's chair, just shattered into a million little pieces. It's a sad fact that I have literally zero self control when it comes to my beloved caffeine. I am a caffeine addict, a fact that is as sad as it is true, and I am completely incapable of having just one. So, though it deeply pains me, I've made the heart-wrenching decision to give up soda.
It really hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I mean you would think that giving up something I've cherished over the last twenty years would be fairly difficult, but I think through it all I've kept a super positive and upbeat attitude.
I mean sure there have been moments when things have been bad, what with the cravings, that may or may not keep me up nights. And of course, the headaches from caffeine withdrawals.
Just maybe don't ask my husband how I've handled it. He might tell you I've had issues with mood swings or some other nonsense like that.
It's been fine really. No, really, I hardly even miss it anymore. Wait... is that a soda I see in your hand? Is it?!
Email Kim at info@skyvalleychronicle.com with questions or comments.
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