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GOLD BAR  WEATHER
Temperature: 51.6°F | Humidity: 94% | Pressure: 29.96in (Steady) | Conditions: Rain | Wind Direction: SE | Wind Speed: 2.0mph
GOLD BAR

GOLD BAR POLICE BLOTTER:
Crime by the numbers

July 13, 2015




CRIME BY THE NUMBERS. CLICK TO OPEN
Chronicle News & Expert Analysis

(GOLD BAR, WA.) -- It is with great pleasure we can report that the assorted scoundrels, thieves, perverts, highwaymen of all stripes, serial robbers and killers and fully tattooed Neanderthals were kept in check in the month of June.

And thus they were prevented from causing too much undue harm to the decent, God fearing men and women of the Gold Bar area. Can we get an amen on that somebody?

The vermin (we call them perps in the trade) were kept in check by the fine men and women of the Snohomish County Sheriff's office and if you had any gratitude whatsoever you'd put a couple of double-sawbucks in an envelope right now and mail it to the local precinct with a few words of thanks.

So without further ado (because Mr. Ado has left the building) here's the cop shop action for the month of June. Pay attention and keep your hands to yourselves. There may be a test on this stuff later.

CALLS FOR SERVICE DOCUMENTED BY CASE REPORT

1 Vandalism (the vandals took the handle while Johnny was in the basement)

3 Thefts (rural American is just filthy with thieves, especially when it's a slow month with meth sales)

1 Forgery (ah, that sounds interesting)

1 Strong-arm Robbery (are you kidding? we actually got street muscle pulling strong arms out here? god almighty)

1 Commercial Burglary (that means a business was burgled, not a house)

1 Residential Alarm (possible burglary)

1 Trespass

1 Warrant Arrest

1 Traffic violation

1 DUI (stands for drunk and stupid and maybe doped up as well)

1 DUI Collision ( stands for drunk and stupid and crashing your car into stuff)

1 Regular collision (means you might have been stupid but were not doped up or drunk)

1 Drug arrest (one more dope fiend taken off the street, can we get an amen on that?)

1 Overdose (the dude did not croak otherwise we would have been notified)

1 Mental health (somebody either went postal or was about to go postal, which is easy to do in this screwed up world)

1 Suicide threat (see above about going postal)

1 Missing person

3 Disturbances (often times a bar fight, loud parties or dope heads lighting firecrackers in their mouths because it seemed like a fun thing to do)

3 Domestic Violence Assaults (somebody who once said "I do" and "I love you honey buns" is always getting whacked around by the dude she said "I do" to -- or the once hot babe HE said "I do" to)

2 Death Investigations (we're pretty sure they were natural causes but in case it was found out one or both parties got whacked, like in a murder, you'll read all the grim details about the crimes here in the Chronicle...better known as True Crime Nation).

CHILD LURING INCIDENT

This happened on July 4th but due to misinformation "circulating on the web" this incident is noted in the June Report.

An elementary school aged child while outside playing, came close to a brushy area near the city well on 1st Avenue West. A “shaggy” appearing man who was concealed in the brush called to the child “come over here.”

The child stepped away and the man stepped out toward the boy. The boy then ran home and alerted his parents. The man ran away.

Police say there is NO evidence that the man intended to or attempted to pursue, abduct or otherwise harm the child. Nevertheless, an element of the crime of luring includes "an unlawful attempt to lure a child into an area that is concealed from view."

A police K-9 was deployed but did not locate the man. "Investigation confirmed that someone had been in the brush where the child indicated, and had left in the direction indicated by the child."

No identifying information has been developed for the man.


INDEX

Case # 15-03. Index had one incident, a death investigation, cleared with a case report in June. This was only the third case number issued in 2015. By this time in 2014, Index was assigned case # 14-10.


THE COLOR CHARTS

Note: The numbers in the color charts above right do not always match the numbers you see above, in part because the statistics in the charts are pulled from dispatch records which do not always accurately reflect the final type for the service call. For example, a deputy may respond to a suspicious circumstance and later (when things are all sorted out and what's what and who's who is in better focus) change the type to "UFO landing followed by assault by alien.".

The charts above compare calls for service in the reporting months to the same months in the previous year and provide a monthly average (Typical Month) in each category.

Data displayed is for all dispatch groups provided service by the Gold Bar Region (KK) and Index (RR) police agencies. All statistics may be viewed at Gold Bar City Hall if you walk in fully clothed, don't have your fingers in your nose and aren't acting all weird and stuff.






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