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COOL CAT SEEKS REUNION WITH GOLD BAR FAMILY
September 18, 2015
(GOLD BAR, WA.) -- The cool cat seen in the photo to the right is named Marco and he's seeking a reunification with his Gold Bar family.
Marco the Cat. CLICK TO ENLARGE
Marco, 3-1/2 months old and sweet as spun sugar at the county fair went missing from somewhere on 3rd Street in Gold Bar the evening of Sept. 16 for reasons that are unclear (at least to us).
At any rate, Marco wants to come home and the folks on the home front want him back.
Update 9/18 @10:47 pm: We got word tonight that Marco is back home and all is well. However there are some very good reasons you should read the rest of this story if you love your family pet.
As you can see by the photo, Marco is a handsome little devil, is a bright orange color and is neutered - a fact that we can tell you (for a fact) he is not happy about.
Would you be a happy camper having somebody walk up and snip off your jingle-jangles when they were perfectly fine just as they were? We think not.
And by the way, you should know that some very smart, well educated vets and researchers across the country are now starting to see an ugly new pattern develop after decades of our family pets being clipped of their gonads for no good reason.
The new black plague
Yes, there is a new plague in this nation -- a veritable sea of terrible endocrine problems (including cancers) cropping up among dogs and cats directly resulting (these vets and researchers believe) from from having been neutered and spayed wily-nilly by these animal shelters (which at one time may have been a good idea on a selective basis) who in turn have done a great job of conning every pet owner in this country that the first thing they have to do when they get a dog or cat is have his/her gnarlies done away with.
The mighty Chronicle will be doing a story on that whole endocrine problem in pets issue in the future but in the meantime, don't be whacking off your dog or cat's jingle-jangles just because your think you HAVE TO DO IT. You don't. You have a choice.
You don't have to cut and snip and cause your pet horrible medical problems down the road (which can also be very expensive for you in vet bills).
See, if you're a responsible pet owner and you don't let your pet wander all around the city at all hours and your pet spends almost all its time in your house or yard and when you go out your pet is on a leash, then you can darn well leave your animal's privates alone and intact and maybe increase his/or lifespan -- a lifespan of good health.
But we digress.
At any rate, if you see Marco give Carol a call at 425-623-7354.
We know what you're saying at this point.
Why is a hugely read, influential, massively important newspaper like the Chronicle investing its valuable time and resources in doing a nothing little story about one lost cat in a tiny burg like Gold Bar?
Well it's simple. The Chronicle is the only newspaper in the USA (land of the free home of the brave) that truly cares about the fine people and animals of this gorgeous valley, where all the women are strong and pump iron, all the men are movie star pretty and all the kids are so far above average they begin levitating at the age of two.
All those other newspapers (all run by commie pinko socialist bed wetter liberals we might add), all they do is stand there with that thousand mile stare in their eyes and a handful of gimmee and mouthful of much obliged.
They are a vile and untrustworthy lot and you should never turn your back on them.
We, on the other hand, are decent God fearing Americans who believe in helping out our fine neighbors even with the smallest of issues, such as lost cats. We are the newspaper of record for the Sky Valley you can count on. We are the salt of the earth (and the pepper too) and we're in your corner Spunky.
You're welcome. Carry on now.