You can't trust anybody these days
Ain't it the truth?
November 02, 2017
Chronicle news & opinion
What a real label from a REAL bottle of 1878 Macallan single malt looks like . At least we think its real. CLICK TO ENLARGE
by Rex D. Cain
(INTERNATIONAL) -- Seriously, you can't trust anyone these days except for your proven trustworthy, 100% reliable and factual (journalistic oracle in the wasteland of fake reporting), the esteemed Sky Valley Chronicle.
You sure as hell can't trust Facebook and Twitter. Those guys just went before Congress and admitted they let thousands of fake news stories (mostly from the Russian troll factory) on their social-disease media platforms because somebody paid them money to float those boats.
Now how disgusting and crass is that? Hey guys, you ever hear of American patriotism? You ever hear of checking what kind of yam heads and scammers buy ads and space on your "platforms"? Duh.
You have any idea of the thousands and thousands of dollars from scammers this fine and decent newspaper has turned down over the years from the same type of scumbags that you guys willy-nilly let through your system?
Of course not because we've never told you. But we're telling you now Bubba.
Had we been nastily unpatriotic (like SOME people we know) we too could have taken that humpload of money and bought new sports cars and summer homes right next to the nice places Paul Manafort owns. (Well, he won't own them for long be he does own them at the moment)
Hell, we might have done coffee with ol' Paul on our respective verandas on Saturday mornings and talked about all the poor people and how stupid they were for not earning money the old fashioned way like we did.
If we had taken all that money instead of turned it down, we'd be livin' high on the hog and sittin' in high cotton just like Zuckerberg & pals.
And you know you can't trust Fox News right? Hell, every few months those clowns are running retractions and soulful mea culpas for the fake news stories they got caught running.
And now the greatest insult of all
And now it turns out you can't even go to an expensive Swiss hotel and spend $10,000.00 for one drink of the world's most expensive Scotch whiskey and actually get what you paid for.
We kid thee not. Turns out this one dram of vintage Scotch bought by this Chinese millionaire in a Swiss hotel bar for $10,000.00 US (£7,600) was a fake, laboratory tests have concluded.
A freaking fake! The BBC News reported that analysts from Scotland were called in by the Waldhaus Am See hotel in St Moritz after experts questioned the authenticity of the 2cl shot.
It had been poured from an "unopened bottle labelled as an 1878 Macallan single malt," said the BBC News. "It is believed to be the largest sum ever paid for a poured dram of Scotch. But analysis found that it was almost certainly not distilled before 1970."
The hotel said it had accepted the test findings and reimbursed the customer in full. But hey, what if that whiskey had NOT been tested?
You have any idea how many other bottles of super-expensive booze are sitting on the shelves of restaurants and hotels all across this planet that people will pay big money to drink that may not be the real deal after all?
Zhang Wei, 36, from Beijing - one of China's highest-earning online writers - had paid just under 10,000 Swiss francs (£7,600, $10,050) for that single shot while visiting the hotel's Devil's Place whisky bar in July, says the BBC. (Which was God's way of saying the dude makes far too much money).
"But suspicions about the spirit's provenance surfaced soon after the purchase, when whisky industry experts spotted discrepancies in the bottle's cork and label from newspaper articles."
Uh-oh. The jig was about to be up.
So that prompted the hotel to send a sample to Dunfermline-based specialists Rare Whisky 101 (RW101) for analysis and then they did some carbon dating tests which suggested a 95% probability that the booze was created between 1970 and 1972.
And then even further tests indicated the booze was probably a blended Scotch, comprising 60% malt and 40% grain - ruling it out as even a modern day single malt!
What does all of this mean?
It means that in a troubled world filled with thieves, perverts, sex-crazed, assault-prone Hollywood actors and moguls, carpet-baggers, pimps, miscreants of all sorts, highwaymen, crooked lawyers and judges, Twitters In Chief (better known as the Village Idiot in the White House) and many other no accounts, the Sky Valley Chronicle is the only entity you can trust anymore.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. Give our DONATE graphic at the top of this page a workout instead of standing there with a mouth full of gimmee and a handful of much obliged as you usually do. That stuff gets pretty old Bubba.
Stop being a cheapskate and do your duty.