Police Allege Everett Lawyer Pulled A
The fake beard
& glasses caper
January 11, 2018
By B. Tanner
Yer honor: the whole truth and nothin' but the truth.
Chronicle news-opinion-expert crime analysis
(EVERETT, WA.) -- You know the old saying right? When the goin' gets strange, the weird turn pro? Well, sometimes that old bromide is right on the button.
When was the last time you heard of a mouthpiece (as mob guys sometimes call them) getting pinched for allegedly knocking off a bank?
Chalk this one up, along with the bizarre election of Der fearless fuhrer Captain Hairspray as President (and his subsequent selection of a merry band of goofballs, misfits, incompetents and weirdos (including relatives) as White House "advisers" and staffers, some of whom have pleaded guilty already in the you-know-what case) as one of the many signs that...THE END IS NEAR.
Get your ascension robes ready.
The down and dirty. An Everett lawyer has been busted by police for allegedly trying to rob a bank last month. According to several broadcast and published reports - all impeccably based, it is reported, on court docs filed in the case - one Richard Evan Kriger of Everett, described on the WSBA's (Wash. State Bar Association) website as an active "Civil Litigation, Personal Injury, Torts" lawyer walked into (so the cops say) the Banner Bank branch in Everett on Colby Avenue Dec. 13 with a note demanding tens of thousands of dollars.
And the other choice part is this: the investigating gendarmes say he had on a fake beard, dark glasses and gloves when he rolled in to allegedly do the deed. (One guy here at the Chronicle ranch laughed so hard when he heard that, he went into conniption fits, blowing flames out his nostrils as his eyes rolled all the way back in his head...for a while we thought we were going to have to call an aid car. It's during times like these that it's reassuring to have a good health insurance plan.)
As almost always happens, the cops show up before the action is over, surround the bank and take the barrister into custody who then gives the police a well...pretty weird story as stories go, some would argue.
He said he had some troubled relative who was outside the bank with a heater and was gonna start blasting away (presumably at people) if he, Dicky boy, didn't go through with the stick up.
Seriously. That is the story he gave them.
So the cops then logically ask him, well if that's the case Dicky, what's with the fake beard, dark glasses and gloves? Why would you need them?
Reportedly the esteemed barrister (an officer of the court) had no answer for that one.
Kriger noted for the gendarmes that he didn't have any weapon on him, that he did not threaten anyone, that he tried to reassure the bank manager he was a kind of a savoir in this situation (only there to prevent some terrible mayhem, ergo the relative with the heater outside that was gonna start blasting away if he didn't rob the bank).
Sounds perfectly plausible to our ears.
The Associated Press reported that Kriger is a civil attorney who in late 2016 completed a two-year state bar association suspension for mismanaging a trust account involving his son.
The report says that Kriger, according to prosecutors, still owes $50,000...about the amount that was demanded in the robbery.
And so it goes.