Here's Why Little Johnny Is Getting Goofier With Each Passing Year
December 29, 2017
Chronicle news, opinion, expert digital analysis
(NATIONAL) -- You've suspected it all along haven't you? Watching little Johnnie sit there hour after hour glassy eyed, hearing and seeing nothing that goes on around him, playing those stupid video games as if he had a crack addiction.
You've said to yourself more than once, "Man this can't be normal. It's like he's a junkie and he can't go a day without his hours-long fix and to boot, he's dumber than a donut. His grades are in the toilet, he's 20 pounds overweight and when you ask him what he wants to do when he grows up he says he wants to eat Cheetos and play video games."
Well pops, turns out that you might be right. Little Johnnie's brain may be fried from all that video game playing and he may be, well, he just might be...nuts in the head from it.
There's this report coming out soon from the World Health Organization called The 11th International Classification of Diseases and in a draft of that report it includes "gaming disorder" in its list of mental health conditions.
We kid thee not.
Here's what it says:
"Gaming disorder is characterized by a pattern of persistent or recurrent gaming behavior (‘digital gaming’ or ‘video-gaming’), which may be online (i.e., over the internet) or offline, manifested by: 1) impaired control over gaming (e.g., onset, frequency, intensity, duration, termination, context); 2) increasing priority given to gaming to the extent that gaming takes precedence over other life interests and daily activities; and 3) continuation or escalation of gaming despite the occurrence of negative consequences.
The behavior pattern is of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning. The pattern of gaming behavior may be continuous or episodic and recurrent. The gaming behavior and other features are normally evident over a period of at least 12 months in order for a diagnosis to be assigned, although the required duration may be shortened if all diagnostic requirements are met and symptoms are severe."
So there you have it bro. Little Johnny may already be irreversibly nuts in the head.
You have our condolences.