|Temperature: 42.8°F | Humidity: 98% | Pressure: 30.10in (Rising) | Conditions: Overcast | Wind Direction: South | Wind Speed: 0.0mph|
Crime & Grime In The Big City
Thieves, burglaries, malicious mischief and more
February 08, 2018
CLICK TO ENLARGE. Colored crime chart
Crime reports & expert analysis
(GOLD BAR, WA.) -- Below are highlights from January police call responses in and around Gold Bar as issued jointly by the honorable Snohomish County Sheriff Ty Trenary and the equally honorable Gold Bar Mayor Lee Hodo.
Well, there wasn’t a lot of crime in January which is a good thing. Crime rates go up and down all the time and most often nobody knows why. It’s like the stock market. Nobody knows why it goes up or down, least of all stockbrokers.
Sometimes though the crime rate goes down because all the criminals moved away and are doing crimes elsewhere. Sometimes it's because most of them got arrested for doing stupid stuff and they’re in the clink and therefore cannot be out making your life miserable by doing crimes.
Sometimes criminals just go insane (hey, they have mental health issues just like “normal” folks do) and end up in a loony bin somewhere babbling at the moon and speaking gibberish to people at breakfast.
Or they get Jesus and turn their lives around, which is a good thing because then you don't have to worry about them stealing all your stuff.
In any event, we now proudly present the Gold Bar Case Report Summary:
Incident Summary: 1 mental health referral, 3 public assist. No case reports generated.
2. Guy named Brett Card (who died his hair blonde, evidently so the gendarmes would not recognize him) “was arrested after we received a Crime Stoppers tip,” said dee police statement. That was followed by, “the burglary spree of November and December stopped at approximately the time the story (about blondie Brett) aired on television. One burglary matching the M.O. of the others, though unsolved, is not believed to be Card.”
Brett, evidently was a busy boy while he was hangin’ at Gold Bar. Check him out HERE
The gendarmes say the remaining burglaries and attempted burglaries in town remain unsolved.
3. ID Theft: Deputies who were investigating a theft of a check from the mail identified and arrested a suspect who cashed the check, which was a rather rude thing to do.
4. Other stuff: 1 Burglary – storage bay, 1 Collision, 1 Domestic Disturbance, 1 Domestic Malicious Mischief, 1 Domestic Assault, 1 Domestic Court Order Violation, 1 Identity Theft, 1 Malicious Mischief, 1 Mental Health Referral, 1 Possession Stolen Property, 1 Suspicious Circumstance, 4 Warrant Arrests.
Colored crime charts
Now to our favorite part -- the color crime charts. Every picture tells a story. Find the charts at upper right.
Have a nice day.
There will be a test on this stuff later.